What does it mean to hold space for someone?

We have all experienced the awkward comments either said or received when we have lost a loved one or gone through something very challenging in our life. I have been on both sides myself. You would think that going through something difficult would help you know what to say to someone else! We all fumble!

The thought of what it means to hold space for someone has been going through my mind lately. You will hear this in many different types of belief systems. It may be a prayer circle, or keeping someone in your thoughts and prayers, or sending love your way, or... you name it. These are all acts of holding space. They are beautiful acts and so needed. The energetic expressions that we offer are VERY real and VERY impactful.

So what does it mean to hold space for someone? Holding space means to create a safe space where they can be completely vulnerable and be in a space to receive love and support for where they are in that moment without feeling like you need something from...

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Letters I Write but Don't Send

I am 100% positive that you have had moments in your life where you want to explode! Where you feel so hurt, betrayed or used by another person and it feels SO WRONG! Boy, do I feel you because I know this place. I have learned, and I love this lesson I have learned, that when I am PISSED off I write. I write in my notes or on paper what I want to say to this person. I get it ALL out, then I re-write it to add things, take other things out and when I feel good about it I save it. I DO NOT SEND IT! I repeat I DO NOT SEND IT! If, after some time has passed, it feels to send it then I will. But this rarely happens. Instead, the action of writing down what I am feeling at that moment and getting the feelings out on paper helps me to see things clearer and to get emotions out of my body.

"Healing is the application of love to the places inside that hurt." - Christine Hassler

There are times where I feel I need more healing from a situation. Almost always sending a letter of how I am...

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How do I step out of fear?

Man oh man! Our world is becoming a pretty scary place, isn't it? On one hand it's fascinating to witness and participate in as we are making history. On the other, it can bring up emotions of fear, anxiety, depression, sadness and so much more. So the big question is, how do you step out of fear?

FEAR is the opposite of TRUST. With any emotion, the more you allow yourself to feel into the shadow side of the emotion, the more you also allow yourself to feel the light side. They are both part of the same, light and dark make up the whole. Now that we have established this I will move on.

 

For the next part you will want a pen and paper. Ask yourself, why do I feel fear? Write out all the reasons why you feel fear and then circle the ones that give you the most anxiety. On a new page, write down what you can do about the fears you circled leaving space to write next to them. With each of these fears I want you to write what you can do about them. For example, if you...

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The Spaces In Between

I have been practicing sinking into the spaces that are in between and felt the desire to write about it.

Today in our world, so many are going through changes with challenges and struggles that feel too much. And yet you are still here, I am still here, and we are still moving forward. Do not forget how strong you are!

When those pieces fall apart, and we let them fall apart, we are left in a new place where we do not feel like we are whole. We are in a space of the in between. The in-between of what was and what could be lurking out in front of us, all the possibilities and all the fear that comes with the unknown. Feeling like "I don't know what to do" come in and we feel hopeless. Could you change this thought into, "I do not know what to do yet, but I will know. And when I know, I will move forward."

I know for me I have a tendency of wanting to pick up the pieces and do something with them. Maybe if I reorganize them it will feel familiar and I will feel better. I have a...

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I love what I do!

 
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Feeling Anxious? Here are 6 Steps to help naturally!

Do you have days where you wake up feeling anxious? Feel off? I know I do and they can really drive me nuts. Here are some tools that I have learned to help me when I feel this way.

Tip One: Get quiet and do a body scan. Check in with yourself to find out of you are feeling anxious because you are ignoring something that needs to be done or if something needs attention. Whatever answers come to you, listen to them and act upon them. Maybe you are feeling overwhelmed with an upcoming event or deadline and your are procrastinating. If this is the case, write down (with pen and paper) what you need to get done. Just this act alone of physically writing your to do's down will help to lower your anxiety levels.

Tip Two: BREATHE. Breath is one of the most underused tools and one of the most powerful tools that we have! Try one of these breathing practices to help calm your nervous system.

  • Sit in a comfortable position
  • With your dominate hand position your hand over your nose.
  • Place your...
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Coming Back Into You - Tips to Reclaim You!

For years I felt lost in my life. I was going through the motions and doing what I thought I should do to be happy. From the outside you would never have guessed this was how I felt. Like you I am sure this is the case of your inner world that you do not like to share with others. As I started finding myself again (hell yeah!) I learned a few things that might be helpful to pass along.

Through my journey of 'awakening' and learning more about myself, the Universe, etc... I had thought I would have a moment where everything would come into complete alignment and all would be well. That I would have this moment of - aaahhhh - I can live out the rest of my life in bliss! HA! Has anyone else had this thought? What I have learned is that I do have moments where I feel so in-line, so in-tune and so in-flow with the universe. These moments are always new levels of awareness, new shifts in consciousness and are beautiful to witness and experience. However, I never stay only here. With the...

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Is Love a Choice

When I was a teenager I had my future laid out. My main focus was to get married and have a family, make a home, etc. I didn't think much past that point in my life. Imagine my surprise to be in my late 30's, looking back, to see how I could have never predicted what unfolded. Married and divorced then married and annulled TWICE and finally married a fourth time to an amazing man. I have learned in my life to never say never.

Each of my relationships were challenging to say the least. Recently I have had several conversations with friends where I have noticed how much the topic comes up around unhealthy relationships. Why do people choose into them? Why do we not see what is in front of us? I have thought a lot about these questions and relating it to my experiences. In knowing that so many struggle, like I did, I wanted to write about what I had experienced in hopes they might help someone else. I did also just publish my book, Love & The Space In Between that goes deeper into...

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Driven By Passion & Purpose

For over 10 years I have owned a fashion company that has had it’s up’s and downs, it has molded me, changed me and I have molded and changed it. We have gone through so much together! To think that my company is separate from me would be completely ignorant – this is a truth that I didn’t completely expect or understand when I became a business owner years ago.

My journey has been one that I would have never expected and one that I am truly, deeply, grateful for. Over 10 years ago I bought a company that had been in business for just over a year but was struggling and needed more. Costco, Nordstrom’s, Wal-Mart, Amazon, wholesale accounts and our e-commerce business were what drove my business for years. I went from 55 employees, to 15, to 2 employees, to 18… we have been through a lot together. However, in all the years that I have owned this company, this is the first time that this company is completely my creation – my ideas, my passion...

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Perceived Perfection

Perfection.

We are told, in general, not to expect perfection. If someone promises it they’re either selling something or deluding themselves. We conflate idealism with naïveté and pessimism with ‘just being realistic’. But to deny the existence of perfection is to deny the evidence of our own lives. Yes, re-read that a few times as it's really a beautiful statement!

In Chuck Palahniuk's Fight Club, Tyler Durden spends hours dragging driftwood logs into position on a lonely beach.

“What Tyler had created was the shadow of a giant hand. Only now the fingers were long and the thumb was too short, but he said how at exactly four-thirty the hand was perfect. The giant shadow hand was perfect for one minute, and for one perfect minute, Tyler had sat in the palm of a perfection he’d created himself. One minute was enough, Tyler said, a person had to work hard for it, but a minute of perfection was worth the effort. A moment was the most you could...

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